mY naKed Thoughts

I’ve wolfed 2 bars of prince chocolates, large sized Doritos chips, a pack of Oreo biscuits and downed a can of large coke. Yet the idea of what topic to blog about still didn’t kick on my dead brain. I’ve been blog/news trotting to and fro still nothing has gotten my interest. Instead, I worry if I still could be in a deep slumber after all the gastric contents I shoved with glut in this 30minutes hour before sleep.

What has actually bugging me all day is the lavish shopping I did. Having spent half month of my salary for clothes, shoes and bags brought an acid feel on my stomach. The sudden change of reading interest from self help articles to fashion and style updates is alarming. I’m not having fun anymore looking at what I bought, I’m having a headache instead. I’m not a materialistic person, well, that’s if I’ll be compared to others I knew of.

The guilt feeling caused by my impulsive shopping secondary to longingness hits a nerve thus a punitive action was self-rendered, the over eating took place. Aren’t I entitled to enjoy what I earned? If Yes, then why do I feel I’m about to sell all the dresses I just bought? Why I can’t seem to see to some independent women like me, the regret of buying a Wallis little black dress that looks like just a freakin cortege dress? Am I normal to feel this way?  Or am I just an ordinary person looking for extra-ordinary things seen not in the shopping window?

I must admit, material things sometimes validate our self worth. It’s an investment that promotes pride. However, in this time of global recession wherein some people die in hunger, could you dare to buy a Louboutin shoes without the usual tugging feeling of your conscience?  or wouldn’t you inch your thinking a little open then?

If the moon takes it’s place tonight, It will be the first day of Ramadan. I’m not much into religious activities but what really amazes me is when good muslims share their blessings to the needy. In the family I worked with here in Saudi, we have at least twenty boxes of (used and unused) dresses and groceries and sacks of rice to be given away. I salute them for that.

In Philippines, people are raising hell because the President professed it’s undignified to eat in a fastfood chain when the party was in US thus veering them to Le Cirque restaurant and paid a staggering $20,000 for a single dinner. I don’t know how the President defines “dignity”  and how does the word relate to restaurant preference. Obama however ate in a fastfood resto while our Pres.GMA went to US bringing a bowl of loan application and we had the nerve to pay exorbitant price for a dinner?huh! Thus i’m casting an askance look for that.

In my own affair, I figure the reason I feel guilty  is because I know that overseas workers’ works are not for lifetime. The need to save money is the primary goal and not on the indulgence on material things because every moment we’re away from home, we paid big time. Our absence when kids are growing can’t be compensated by anything. Thus, we have to make the most of what we earned. There’s no such happiness to be with family again. Nor any signature brands can pacify the longingness one feels.

Anyhow, your affair isn’t mine. I don’t wanna be a kibitzer as of the moment. Though the lesson I got from this examining is to make the most of what we have. Whether it be financial, physical, emotional resources,don’t wear it out. Let it be productive as always and/or save it for future better uses.