mY naKed Thoughts

The art of Jack the Ripper’s killing took me to an awe! He practically hacked his victim’s face, ripped throat from ear to ear and savagely mutilated his women victims. Yeah, he’s only after to women. It brought chills through my nerves. whew! That’s how he got his title.. The most famous murderer of all time.

But im not afraid of Jack the Ripper. He’s not a friend nor we are acquainted to each other. I’m quite leery to strangers so I’m spared to his terrible killings. I’m actually afraid to my friends, to my boyfriend and to my family. They are my beloved. Though they can’t rip my throat’s off there’s one thing that they could do more harm to me than just physical pain.

When you had given all your trust and faith and unexpectedly he/she turns his/her back at you. When u finally disarm your fortress and  he/she drops you, cheat on you, stabs your back. When u welcome him/her in your life and he/she’ll mess it all  without you knowing it.. without you having a single suspicion on it. Our naivete will put us in a bloody hell. Indeed, BETRAYAL is the worst thing on earth.

I personally loathe traitors and users whatever their reason is.  A family who only think about self is a trash. I Condemn disloyal friends and dishonest boyfriend. I would rather be the villain having the reputation of a bitch than profess angelic deeds with sinister motives.

Betrayal is like digging your own tomb, going inside and waiting to be buried alive or You gasping for an air to breath and someone your beloved brought an Oxygen tank with a carbon monoxide on it.

Emotions are precious investment. When you’re wrong with whom to invest, It will leave you into bankruptcy of feelings, nothing to give to others and to yourself.. Faith withered, love vanished. There’s no greater pain than a friend sold you out. A husband denied claim of your pregnancy. A mother left baby on a trash can. A father raped a daughter. It feels like your throat ain’t just ripped off but heart butchered as well. Betrayal is a slow death. Savoring every moment of hatred, pain, regrets and vengeance. That will sure scare the hell out of me. How can you take avenge with the one you once loved, trusted and shared your life with?

In our lives, we even had betrayed ourselves everyday. When we said we hate our job and still we stick on it. When you know he doesn’t love you and yet you keep on clinging onto him. When you know you deserve better things in the world, not just being a battered wife, or a manipulated girlfriend, but you are afraid to try, to get out from your comfort zone. When you thought of saying NO but aloud u said..YES. That is Self betrayal. When are we gonna wake up? When do we choose to stop hammering our head? When do we start loving, taking care and being true to ourselves?

As i had asked myself always, Self-protect or snap the bait? Trust or bid them goodbyes? Decisons are all just based on our senses. Indeed there is no safe place on earth. Life is full of risks. The important thing is which risks are the ones worth taking. Life is always worth a try anyway. That’s how it always goes.

Thru blind date you meet him. He’s a dandy. Tall, a real hunky. He got the most tantalizing eyes you’ve ever seen. He smiles at you with pearly white teeth disarming you with his charm. He gives you flowers, pulls a chair for you. He’s a perfect gentleman. He says it’s nice to have met a real beauty like you.. and you blushed, heart beats fast, and you secretly giggling with excitement. He is an amusing companion. He showers you with admiration.. and you’re all eyes on him, hearing every word he utters. An instant compatibility strikes! and you heard yourself whispering… i’m in love! i’m in love!……Toink!

Wake up girl! it’s too early to conclude you’re in love.

Let’s talk about love for a change. It’s a good omen. Everybody says it’s a wonderful feeling to be in love so maybe talking about it will make us exultant compared to my previous post which gave me a sense of foreboding. ehehe!

According to Mother Theresa (in case you don’t know her, She’s a Saint) The greatest Science in the world in heaven and on earth is Love. So what is the Science of Love? (wish there’s Bachelor of Science in Love where I could study so I won’t keep on picking up pieces of my broken heart everytime I failed in love. By the way, I’m amazed how God made our heart so great that it’s the only broken thing that still works.)

Let’s delve the word Love. Love to God (Agape), to family and friends (Phileo), and to oneself (narcissism?). These are all easy to comprehend. What made the word Love an abstruse word is love to an opposite sex because it combined with the complexity of the feelings involved thus making it difficult to consistently define.

In the love story, You’ve concluded you’re inlove.. and I’d said, not too fast, because there’s no such thing as love at first sight. Well, I believe there’s lust at first sight. People are lustful. Earth is filled with lust. errr.. put eyebrows down first please.I wasn’t saying you ladies outhere are flirts and men horny all the time.That’s a good recipe though in stirring you to anger mode..ehehe! If I may state my side.

In Chemistry, Biological models of sex tend to view love as a mammalian drive, much like to a hunger or thirst. Love experiences are divided into stages. Lust as the first stage. The initial passionate sexual desire that exposes people to others. This involves the increased release of chemicals testosterone and estrogen. Attraction follows which develops out of lust as commitment to individual mate forms. Brain consistently release chemicals such as serotonin, dopamine, etc.. they act similar to amphetamines stimulating the brain’s pleasure center. These explains why one is on an extreme moods when in love. However, like ingesting drug amphetamine, the effect also subsides. Increased levels of these hormones will return to as they were one year after. When these reactions to love mellows, different areas of the brain are activated, primarily one’s involving long term relationships. The last stage in love is attachment. This is based on commitment such as marriage. The time when you and your partner are on your own. How one will behave in his/her relationship is based on his/her concept on love.

In our relationships, time will help us tell if we are in a lasting love.. or just in lust? or simply on attraction. As we’ve just found out the fact that the romance we had experienced were only  products of chemical changes that are temporary.  Will you still be willing to commit your lifetime?

Love, albeit all efforts of Science defining the word on its deep meaning, rationalizing every emotion one’s felt… we ignored it all. We still believe that love is a magic. That every love affair has a wonderful story to be told. We still believed in love at first sight and whirlwind romance is an amazing story.

Come to think of it, we even believed that love lives in our heart, well in fact, it’s actually in our brain and hormones. I guess, it’s just realistic to say that when a man proposes marriage to his girlfriend.. he would better say,  ” I love you with all my brain and hormones, will you marry me? ” LOL! Funny though!

Probably, for love to last a lifetime, We better merge fantasy and reality. Indeed, love is magic but you have to be the magician. Work things right to keep the spark shining.. the fire burning. Love will last for a lifetime only if desired to do so. It’s both your choice. It’s wonderful to dream but we have to face the reality that not all love stories will live happily ever after. 

But you know what’s great about falling in love?

It is the best way of knowing that we are human..  capable of making mistakes, hurting and loving still.

I wanted to recoil in fear that my friends would attack me with atrocious words. I’m glad that they didn’t react the way I had expected upon seeing the sensitive picture i had posted. I even had words on mind to retort if someone would admonish my audacious nature.

Posing half naked or nude in an artistically manner is a total aberration to filipino women. The question of where can we draw the line between art and obscenity kindles debates from culture to culture, individual to individual especially to feminist society.

The painting of ROKEBY VENUS is the famous example of female nudity. It is the picture of the most beautiful woman in mythological society. Some people adored it, some hated it to the extent that militant suffragette Mary  “slasher” Richardson had walked in the National Gallery and attacked the canvass  with a meat cleaver. The fact that we do not know when we can wave censorship to a pornographic picture because it is a work of art addled my brain.

Obscenity i digress, is disgusting. A taboo. But, when can we say that the image is nasty or tastefully painted or taken?

What perplexes me more is the growing number of country that approved the Same-Sex-Marriages. Is this an obscene act or not? This is one of the reason why crafting a legal definiton of obscenity present a civil liberty issue.

It seemed to me now obscenity is the cousin of morality. Both have an issue of territory. Which is normal? Which is not? Both are at our own perspective.

Huh! Who believes life is fair and simple? please raise my hand.